By Steve Sharpton, Parsons Training Center, Tucson, Arizona
June 26, 2016
I think there is this deep pit in every person in this society of ours. Each person has created some sort of setback, or problem or shortcoming that has manifested into their minds. It might be a mishap from a past relationship, where you screwed something up and lost a good person. Or maybe it was the bad business deal that suddenly made you freeze in your tracks in regard to the current risks you take. For some of us, there seems to be the uncanny moment where something bad happens and it manifest right at the moment when joy and euphoria is what is supposed to be on your mind, thus making you believe that any form of happiness and vigor will actually cause some great fit of sadness. Trust me, that has happened to me many times and it almost rings as fact in my life. Then you have some of the other setbacks in life that ultimately can be replaced but often times can be difficult to do so, like losing a job or worse, losing a child. No matter what walk of life, no person is immune to the dangers of what they perceive as reality. And this is where the current society of fear comes into play, and this is where so many of us get trapped and delusional. We cling to what we believe in rather than see what else is out there. We refuse to change our routines, merely because so many of us do not wish to be ostracized. I think this is one wavelength that is hurting society, where the refusal to change is supposedly admirable and cool,even if it makes you look like a nutball in the process.
I will admit, I have a great many fears, some of which I already have mentioned in this blog post. Just yesterday, I promptly dropped my desire to go to Denver and see my family and witness true love in the form of marriage….mainly because my car has yet another problem. I was pretty frustrated, I looked at the moment as a sign that something bad was to come. I mean, how often does your gas start leaking out of your car, right as you are pumping gas? Ultimately, one of my aunts that I was going with talked me back into going, and while I still have this fear about some sort of negative causation occurring due to this trip, the fact I am actually going through with the journey is a good step for me. I would have just stayed home and lay down in bed half the time probably, wondering why bad things keep happening when good things are just down the road. It’s not really something in my head, this has actually happened many times! So at the time being, I have come to a bit of an understanding of the moment and figure some thin mountain air might clear my overly stimulated mind. I think that is what happens when you have been alone for as long as I have, and have been fixated on a perceived “problem” that somewhat controls your life. I’ll admit, letting go of the “fat” version of myself is still an ongoing process for me, and the internet is not really helping me in the process. Heck, society has not been helping me in the process. Last week, I touched on a study that talked a little about how parents jabbing their kids about their weight might lead to future weight issues. What I really didn’t touch on too much was the issue that typically befalls on young boys….body dysmorphia.
So far, I have not reached the level of thinking I am too weak or not big enough, for my issue resolves around the fatty deposits that are clinging to my front torso like flypaper. The good thing about going to what I consider a “mid-level” gym like Chuze is the fact I will probably be fitter than at least 70% of the people there, regardless of what I look like in comparison. The good thing about Parsons Training is the level of comfort I feel when I walk through the door, understanding the feeling of confidence and health I have reached (though I seem to have trouble equating those feelings in the rest of my life). I have talked many times about my conniptions in regards to my body, so much so that you could start a book on the subject…which is what I am trying to do. But that is just part of the battle. Considering I discovered this past year that I was extremely overweight as early as 2000, it brings into play how much work it will take to battle my demons. I wasted 12 years being an overeating monster, and have only had four to really correct the constantly changing force. So you can understand the anxiety when it comes to my body and my weight. You can see where I might be going with this.
Yes, it is tempting to think about the possibility of getting medical science involved on this trip of mine. I could go spend a few hundred bucks I don’t have to boost my testosterone, even though I probably don’t have a shortage of the stuff right now. If I wanted to, I could go really crazy and get some kind of anabolic steroids, putting my health and my future in jeopardy. There is a variety of ingenious (and sometimes illegal) chemicals I could use to really get this thing into overdrive. If the pro athletes of the world can use it and make the money, get the girls and still be defended for their actions, who is to say a Joe Schmoe like me would be equally derided for merely wanting to get their distended gut out of their face. Now, there was some good news in regards to my weight, where I found out I was actually 236 rather than 250 like I have been led to believe in recent weeks (my lightest weight since joining Parsons, which means I am 164 pounds down). But there is that lingering where I want to do more…where I want the process to speed up. I will freely admit that I have thought about supplementation.
Yes, I know, I have talked extensively about how I want to avoid it, but I have been thinking of getting Soylent as a morning shake or an evening shake supplement, depending on which I want to use it for. I figure, the calories will be there but not necessarily the fat and the left overs. But right now, this is just something on the back burner, because it always leads to the fear. Supplements are pretty much a “take at your own risk” model in my mind. At my old job, I heard all the guys talking about the proteins they took, even using them at work. I see some people at my gym walking around with multi-colored drinks as well, wasting no time with such delights as water. Heck, just about every store has them. Whether they work on not, who am I really to say. The industry in general is pretty much unregulated thanks to a deregulatory measure in 1994 that was introduced by Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) https://ods.od.nih.gov/About/DSHEA_Wording.aspx. Since then, the supplement industry has exploded into a 32 billion dollar machine, and just about anyone can get into it as long as you have money and the right marketing to do it. Now you would think a liberal rebel like me would take the risk, considering I prefer to see if something actually works as opposed to the conjecture, but this is one of those moments where I actually cringe. If there is no way to really monitor or regulate something due to law, it might not be a good idea to actually try it. Adopting the a plant based eating regimen and ultimately adopting the vegan ethical stance was something I witnessed and became a part of due to trial and error. It’s not like cutting meat and dairy out of my diet was a huge risk. Taking something that is mostly considered a proprietary blend (which means, who knows what the hell is in it!) is kind of risky for me. The reason why I avoid this stuff so much is the same reason why I avoid sodas. I have finally seen videos of sodas cleaning chrome, revitalizing toilet seats, cleaning off the heads of batteries, being heated into a disgusting goo and now being used as means to fill a swimming pool (I won’t dignify the video with a darn link!). I have also seen the ruin soda has placed on teeth, stomachs, blood sugar charts and the digestive system itself. But I won’t lie…it is so damn tempting.
Truthfully, I probably am not too different from a younger man right now. While I am 38 in age, it seems my body issues are that of a younger man. http://www.winonadailynews.com/lifestyles/health-med-fit/looks-conscious-teens-trying-risky-supplements/article_08f85122-3a09-5f0e-bfc7-15f48c786083.html Yup, while young women have issues with their weight, boys have issues about the musculature. I should be brushing this sort of thinking aside, but let’s face it, I do see some results. Sure, the leg machines are lightly occupied by the men, but you can see the guns on a lot of the curlers. It is a little intimidating to me, for I look like a flabby old guy to a lot of these guys, even though I know I have a great all around fitness. But it is that darn aesthetic that keeps coming back. The weight is coming off and I’m trying to deal with it, but it is the damn aesthetic. Jon accuses me of doing more curls to try and get these similar results, and why should I lie about my motives. Even though curls really aggravate my tendinitis, I do them anyway. Personally, I need to stop worrying about this stuff and learn to embrace the pump. Fortunately for me, I have plenty of articles that can assuage my paranoia on the subject when it comes to powders and supplements http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2016/06/supplements-make-tobacco-look-easy/488798/.
I try not to be a slave to the trends, which is why I don’t have a beard and boatload of tattoos (though, I don’t like beards and can’t grow one and I don’t have the money for tattoos as well as being rather afraid of needles), so I am not easily swayed. But it is getting tempting. Like I said, while I was really happy with the recent weight revelation, I just wish it would help me out in the looks department. I mean, can I get a little bit more tone? Well, this will continue the trend of life for me, where I assess my risks as opposed to going full throttle into them. At least I am not like the poor millennials behind me, who are getting stuck with bigger bills and are putting themselves at greater health risks by putting things off. http://www.cnbc.com/2016/06/27/millennials-cant-afford-health-insurance-adopt-risky-alternatives.html Trust me, I did this for years and look where it got me. I didn't take care of my health and here I am the age of 38 complaining about having a flabby dad bod (and no, I do not believe dad bods are some trend right now, it was jus ta covert reaction by a woman to get views on her page so the knuckle headed meat sacks of the internet would go crazy…which they did).
So in summation there is that desire to go the extra mile of supplementation within my heart, but I have this ethical conundrum about not doing these extras. I don’t know, maybe it is the firm anti-cheating vibe in my blood, where I still refuse to go the extra mile because of petty jealousy. Maybe I am too altruistic and wishes the world would be the same, but then looks at the idiots that are running for president (or should I point the finger at the idiots that chose said idiots). Or maybeI still live in too much fear and should just let go from time to time. Sounds like all of these options are good to go, but until further notice, I will just stick to what I am doing. Either way, I will be gone for a few blog posts, so we shall see what happens on this “kind of, sort of” vacation that I will be taking next week.
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Steve, a Parsons Training Client, went from 400 pounds to Running half-marathons, from lifting pizzas to lifting hundreds of pounds through training with us.
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