Any views or opinions presented in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company. This blog is a unique perspective of one persons journey into fitness. Not all clients and participants at Parsons Training undergo the same training, and each person makes his or her own decisions regarding dietary discretions.
By Steve Sharpton, Parsons Training Center, Tucson, Arizona
February 23, 2017
For a short while last week, I was definitely having some problems. For four straight days, I had issues with my equilibrium, and for the life of me, I could not figure out the problem. I would wake up in the morning and suddenly feel this weird dizziness overcome me, and I would stumble out of bed and wander to the back door to let the pups out of the house so they could do their morning business. It didn't just end there, for I obviously felt some weirdness when I ran and had some more problems with my equilibrium when I was flat on the ground. Do you ever get that strange feeling when you turn yourself around in a circle, and you find the room is still circling around you even after stopping? That is what it felt like, and it felt worse than any drunken moment of debauchery that I had ever felt in my life. I had not felt that way for quite some time, mainly because I don’t really drink enough anymore to really warrant such equilibrium issues. For the most part, there was a bit of panic in my mind, for I was beginning to wonder…is this how life starts getting bad for me? I start getting vertigo just from stepping out of bed and doing normal things in the afternoon? I was wondering if I would turn into Jimmy Stewart’s titular character from the movie “Vertigo,” certain that some images which flash before my spectral view would actually be true (or for the most part, false by those that are around me). If anything, the spectral view of the common human being is somewhat limited, for we have never really developed a true code or scientific meaning as to why we observe the things we observe. I think this why the lunatics at the Flat Earth Society are gaining so much traction…people have been taught to doubt their owns eyes to the point where they all believe a fixed opinion from off in the distance. This is the real reason why people are losing their own free will and forgetting to do basic things such as thinking for themselves and not following the herd in regards to social issues and fashion trends. If the body politic is working for a few people then it must work for everyone. Same reason why this whole beard thing is the mullet/faux hawk/oily-unkempt hair of this particular decade.
Anyway, the whole idea of losing your equilibrium can be a little scary, for I was definitely losing interest at work and losing just about all sense of purpose in my life. And that was just last week! It was especially a major problem earlier this week, when I tried doing a workout on Monday and I was getting dizzy just from laying down on the bench to do my bench presses. It took a few moments to recover and of course, I was just not feeling all that great. I told Christa and she asked me flat out…Are you low on B-12? It was kind of funny, but I had remembered the last time I had actually taken some B-12. My work week had been such a blur of excess hours and overtime that I was not really taking care of myself in the process. Due to the fact I would wake up in a blur in the morning, stumbling to work, I was not taking one of the more essential items that a vegan needs in their life. Needless to say, I started taking the B-12 supplements (the only one I take) and started feeling better within a couple days. And with a clearer head, I was also thinking about another issue that had come up this past week. I really wasn’t eating enough. I looked back on my week and figured I did not eat breakfast at all that week. My lunches had been relatively light but I had also fallen in the trap of eating too heavy of a dinner. I think it was safe to say the lethargy was pretty quick to point out. I had been eating way too much for dinner, dulling my desire to run and workout. I had no energy to actually run after work due to the fact the lateness of my overtime and the mental drain of having to use my head all day long and deal with all of the idiosyncrasies that my job demands. Somedays it does not pay to go to work, especially when you are tired and just want to go home the instant you show up. I mean, I got written up for not processing a disconnect order on a phone, which adversely affects my overall statistics and would lead to scolding because we are not in the business of disconnecting lines. So I was damned for not doing it and would have been damned for doing it. Make up your mind people!
The last couple days I have been feeling a bit better now that I have taken my B-12 for three straight days. Since I am not a huge kombucha user and not really into B-12 fortified tofu (or tofu for that matter, for I barely made my first tofu dish in the four plus years as a vegan) the best route for me is through the sublingual tablets I take. If anything, this will always remind you that what you need for your overall health and nutrition typically start with what you feed yourself My inconsistent diet and my lack of eating on my two days off definitely contributed to the problem. Perhaps my lack of B-12 screwed with my appetite, for I found myself not really eating and then all of a sudden have a rage center in my stomach…a fire that could not be put out for any reason at all. For me, this keeps going back to my main problem in life, the on that I have struggled with for going on 20 years now…how in the world am I going to conquer my eating problems when I keep falling into these traps?
For the most part, I have done a good job with keeping my dietary discipline, maintaining a very strict diet free of animal products. But man, the regression has been pretty tough on me. The first problem for me is the fact I need to eat more food. Now this of course is the contradictory problem for me, for I often times have this real trepidation with the very idea of eating. For me, it reeks of the former addiction I have been trying to battle with for so long and also draws the line toward the major issue with my general health. I want to lose weight. I want to be lean. I want to get rid of this sack of fat around my stomach. I think this is why the major portion control that I look to do after Ragnar Del sol is going to be painful and necessary. I can’t keep going through the work days like I am, building up mental fatigue and stress and then finding myself eating an exorbitant amount of food when I get home. This is creeping back into my life, and the guilt is starting to make me angry with myself again. I mean, this comes about every few months where I regain the focus and then fall off the wagon again. It is becoming quite clear that I’m going have to get really tough with myself after my race. I mean, I am already stressing out about Ragnar, mainly with the fact that I have struggled to get any distance out of my body, and the fact my knee is persistently hurting and my energy is going up and down, I better fix this problem within the next two weeks or else I will really crash and burn. Fortunately, I was smart enough to not volunteer for the big run at the beginning of the race, for that would have been a nightmare.
Anyway, all of this anxiety is certainly filling up my body, for the first time in a while I am having trouble really trusting myself. I did challenge myself this past week, trying to do some extra work on my deadlifts during my Tuesday session. With Jenny out until April or so, I wanted to get back to doing some work on the movement, and I attempted to go 80% on the lifts. I have to admit, my food intake had not been that great during the day, so when I tried doing six sets of three reps, I ended up barely making it to three. Now sure, I was burning out 335 pounds n the deadlifts, but I ultimately had to call it quits after the third set because I was starting to get a little woozy from the work. I went down to 245 to finish everything out and proceeded with my workout for the rest of the session. But the really weird thing is the instant I got home, I just went to town on just about all of the food I had in my fridge. I knew something needs to be done, so I went shopping the next day and took advantage of a sweet deal on blueberries.
Now I know this is a recurring problem for me, and it makes one wonder how in the world will I conquer this stuff? I don’t really know the answer myself, for I really need to start trusting in myself a little more and get over this hump of despair that is floating around in my life right now. At least at the moment, I have been feeling pretty good now that the B-12 is replenishing a little in my body and I have gotten some more fruit into my system. I might have even been low on protein, for if you can believe it, I actually made some tofu for the first time since I went vegan. It only took me four and half years. Either way, I mixed it up with some good veggies and made myself a nice little dinner after eating just salad and fruit during the day. I have to tell you, I have a great respect for the people that can somehow do this all day, eating nothing but raw foods. I don’t know if I will ever get to that level of dedication, but perhaps then next drastic step will have to be that route. Now even with doing a step like that, there is some trepidation.
Not only has Jennie gotten on my case about the eating, Jon is also starting to get on my case as well. While the weight loss has always been the no one reason for me going on this journey, it is still a struggle to find that equilibrium that would best suit me. Right now, I keep hearing these messages that I need to eat more and consume more nutrients, but it leaves me with a lot of anxiety. While I have been struggling with my binge eating, I have all these fears about consuming more calories. I already gained a few pounds back from the 238 I was at a few weeks ago, and it was hugely discouraging. And then I just have a fear and guilt relationship with eating in general. I just don’t like the idea of having to eat more, having to consume more calories just to make this thing work. I mean, it scares me to the core, because then it would be so easy for me to fall back into the traps I used to run into with my health. When you justify one thing in your life, you tend to have an issue with turning off that justification.
It is the dame reason why I have been slowing down on the running due to my fatigue and my sore body. I can’t afford to hurt myself at the moment, so I am scared to push really hard in this regard. I don’t know, maybe I am letting fear get to m again, mainly because some hopes and ideas have kind of backfired on me at the moment. I mean, the tax return I was hoping for was not as much as I was liking. The amount of money to get my pups’ teeth cleaned is a bit more than I expected, and then there is the protein problem with my plasma donating. I don’t know. I just have a lot of things to try and work out right now. I just have to get my butt moving I guess and try to figure out what the next step is. My right arm is constantly hurting from all of the computer work I have to do and the tailbone is always sore due to the sitting. Just another setback I will have to figure out how to work around.
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Parsons Training is a Tucson leader in fitness and personal wellness training. Every personal trainer with this company designs and implements effective fitness programs for their clients; these programs serve as the foundation for good health, fitness, and wellness. Additional information about Parsons Training is available at http://www.parsonspersonaltraining.com
Any views or opinions presented in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company.
Meet the Author
Steve, a Parsons Training Client, went from 400 pounds to Running half-marathons, from lifting pizzas to lifting hundreds of pounds through training with us.
When you read this blog you are reading through the eyes of someone who is winning the battle of real weight loss. Steve is not a fitness professional, but he is someone we can all learn from.
Steve shares his journey once a week here on our blog. We hope that you find a spark of inspiration from reading his blog.
Any views or opinions presented in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company. The author of this blog is an independent writer and is not an associate of Parsons Training, LLC. Any information or images displayed are done so solely at the authors discretion. Any dietary or fitness commentary is exclusively that of the author and in no way dictated by the company.