“Citizen Kane,” not just a bloviated, trumped up, hyperbolic review by online wordsmiths meant to intrigue you. Now the cool thing is the last couple few months have been good times to partake in my fetish for bad cinema, for they not only devoted a month of movies to bad films by the original members of the Star Trek cast, this month they are devoting a whole slew of bad science fiction films. They have the venerable Zsa Zsa Gabor in a campy, supposedly scandalous movie called “The Queen of the Universe,” the ever wretched film “Creature,” the biggest and most expensive commercial ever for McDonald’s trotted out as movie called “Mac and Me” (there is a literal dance number in a McDonald’s in the movie!) and the horrible soft core porno called “Flesh Gordon.” Anyway, this week we all decided to watch this horrendously bad film called “Battle Beyond the Stars,” which not only had a good cast but had some good people behind the scenes (like special effects master Rick Baker, composer James Horner and future director James Cameron). Too bad the film was written by a nobody and produced by Roger Corman, who intentionally made movies so bad that people will be studying why he helped and nourished so much talent behind the scenes for such schlock (as if we aren’t doing it right now).
Anyway, “Battle Beyond the Stars” is basically a cheap knock off of “Star Wars” and “The Magnificent Seven,” with people like John Saxon, Richard Thomas (John-Boy!), George Peppard (“I love it when a plan comes together”) and Robert Vaughn basically regurgitating the same character he played in “The Magnificent Seven.” I’m not gonna tell you how awful this film truly was, but it goes without noting that for an awful film, it still didn’t look terrible. It was just other things like a pedantic plot, way to many “pew-pew” laser sounds and a nonsensical stream of words strewn together called “dialogue.” But like I said, I wasn't completely horrified by the nonsense of the film, for I didn’t feel like the three dollars I spent for the ticket didn’t go to waste. But it wasn’t necessarily the movie that I really want to talk about (even though I have devoted a whole bunch of ink in the process), but it is actually about a little column I saw a couple days ago. http://www.aikenstandard.com/article/20150608/AIK0403/150609529
The writer of the column, Brian Parr, talked about the toughest subject known to man….figuring out how to lose weight. Now I’m already been inundated today with Lemon Cleanses, Raw Cleanses and Banana gorges just from the posts I see on Facebook, and then I come across this article and it seems to be the most sensible out of all of them. Who would have guessed? either way, Parr talked about a growing trend in clothing where people continue to get “one size fits all sort of clothing.” You now what I am talking about. The kind of clothes that have the adjustable waist band but don’t have the indignity of being a stretch waist pair of pants. The type of clothes that have the designation of “loose fit’ or “comfort fit,” depending on how much you really want to sugarcoat the problem. Anyway, he brought up a good point on the subject. Why would you buy clothes that would aid in your weight gain and why would you keep clothes that would remind you of your weight loss? I’ve pretty much let loose a great many of my old clothes, and the days of wearing loose fitting jeans is nearly over with. I say that because my four main pairs of jeans would be construed as “straight cut” for regular men, but for my rather muscular legs they might as well be skinny jeans (but then again, I have no problem showing them off!). But this brings up a good argument within the weight loss community that I am kind of stuck in between. On Monday, I wore an old 3X shirt that I had in my wardrobe, one that jokingly says “Stop Clubbing Baby Seals” with a picture of some baby seals hanging out at a dance club (get it? haha!). In all fairness, it looks frumpy on me, the arms feel too big and it barely even fits me at all. I should get rid of it but the photo is so hilarious to me that I just can’t! Aside from that t-shirt, the only other oversized shirt I have left is my old Tucson Heart Walk shirt, which I will never get rid of.
Now the internet is full of arguments, and this is no different. Everywhere I go, people play the role of the psychologist (much like they play the role of he nutritionist when I mention I am vegan) and try to conjure up every argument necessary. The most well meaning page was probably this one. http://www.maintainweightforever.com/the-last-15/should-i-keep-my-fat-clothes/ Now the good reasoning for keeping your bigger clothes is the idea if you relapse, you will have at least something to wear in case gain back a few extra pounds. The bad reasoning though is the idea that you have leeway, that you have a safety net in regards to going back in case you don’t fail. This is where I believe this mentality is wrong. Personally, I don’t want that safety net. I never wanted it. For too long I was wallowing in self pity and hate and it stemmed exclusively from my poor eating habits, my weight and my lack of exercise. When I think of relapsing, I think of those times. I think of the days where I considered eating myself to death has a viable way of living. I got rid of the old clothing some months back because they were of no use to me, and they might have served some homeless people or poor people much better (some of it was actually pretty decent clothing). Either way, I never wanted to go back to the old me. I don’t want to be the guy that can’t even chase down his little pup when he gets loose from his leash. I don’t want to be that guy that can’t handle a 12-hour shift at a hot shipping center and do it with a small breakfast and a few bananas during my break. And I sure as heck don’t want to be the guy that couldn’t clean his massive yard in one day. I like the changes, and for me, this is a no way back mentality for me. I don’t want to go back to the days of scouring around in Ross in the 44 waist section, wondering which of the 20 pairs or so they have available will actually fit me and look respectable (leg length was a real problem back in those days because bigger jeans feel longer!). I’ve been to Ross recently, and I realize they pretty much have an entire rack for size 36 jeans and pants. I mean, these are good looking pants and jeans as well, not the crap that they accidentally made in the sweatshops and shipped back to the the United States in hopes no one would notice. And of course, the 2X selection of shirts is much better. Sure, I may have to look for a good three of four hours to find an ensemble that might work for me, but apparently it is a time honored tradition of the thrifty clothes hunter.
So there you have it, I guess I have made a declaration without even knowing it. While I may be eating way too many Pro-Nuts from PHOD this week, I pretty much want to stay on the path I have settled into. I want to be able to run the 6.3 miles that I churned out earlier this week, where the temperature was 80+ and the humidity was 60%. I want to continue to run in 90+ degree with the sun shining down on me. I want to accidentally back squat 275 pounds and not know it until I take off the bumper weights, realizing my folly in the process. All these things would not be possible if I felt I had a fall back. You wanna know what my fall back plan is? Nothing! I’m a kamikaze pilot! I’m like Hernan Cortes, who before he began his conquest of Mexico burned all of his ships so his soldiers only had two choices: conquer or die. I want that mentality with my life as well, because with all of the changes I have made to my health and my body, why would I want to do something as crazy as even contemplate the idea of going back?
Now don’t get me wrong, the world is certainly trying its best to get me to go back. These cool pair of jeans my friend gave me ripped on my groin area, and the only reason why is because I tried sitting cross legged. Bu that was just a lesson I leaned for that night. When you want to wear form fitting jeans, you will have to take the good with the bad from time to time. Fortunately there is a good taylor nearby, because I really like how those jeans fit my legs (and is it good for a man to talk so much about his legs?). I could just go back to relaxed fitting jeans, but I don’t like the bagginess of that style anymore. And don’t get me started on the sizing charts these days. I swear, some of the 1X shirts I have seen fit me like an old 2X, which makes me wonder whether I am getting lighter or the clothing companies are getting craftier? I think they are getting craftier, mainly because I legitimately bought a 1X shirt recently. When my fav band Mr. Gnome came to town, I decided to go ahead and buy a rather cool concert t-shirt. Like always, they were out of the 2X sizes of the one I wanted, and I said screw it! I bought the shirt, which kind of looked like Sagittarius himself firing an arrow into the distance (I don’t care much for religion, but I still like a lot of the imagery from the Zodiac signs). I’ll show you the shirt eventually, but I don’t want to wear it until it actually looks decent on me. So in that case, I guess I have a little goal to go for. Like one those crazy Wynaldas, I’m gonna walk the tightrope and do it without a safety line. Of course, I am not crazy enough to tightrope the Grand Canyon though. I got to have some limits of control.
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Parsons Training is a Tucson leader in fitness and personal wellness training. Every personal trainer with this company designs and implements effective fitness programs for their clients; these programs serve as the foundation for good health, fitness, and wellness. Additional information about Parsons Training is available at http://www.parsonspersonaltraining.com
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Steve, a Parsons Training Client, went from 400 pounds to Running half-marathons, from lifting pizzas to lifting hundreds of pounds through training with us.