old hearse while firing particle rays all over the place! Would that lead to some potential fall-out? Wouldn’t you need to call the Nuclear Regulatory Commission after using one of those packs? Wouldn’t you want a jerk to kind of stand up for the public and bring some investigating into this sketchy outfit? But of course, the No. 1 on the list (sorry for the spoilers!) is based in my all time favorite movie series, Lord of the Rings. It concludes Sauron wasn’t that bad of a guy, for he merely raised an army of the outcasts and downtrodden, those that had been locked out of the equal footing of Middle Earth, to lead a revolution against their oppressors. Remember, no rings of power were given to the orcs, goblins and trolls. Where was their stake in this aforementioned unity? Were they just gonna sit back and let the kingdoms of men, elves and dwarves run things with no say while being cast to the underground and Mordor? This actually makes me rethink my position on the movies now. However, the thought must be changed rather quickly considering Sauron didn’t really build this army to prove a point and gain a foothold politically and economically through proper representation, he built it to destroy everything and enslave the other races. Doesn’t sound like a whole bunch of consensus building to me. Okay, I take that back, Sauron is still the bad guy. Either way, if you read into J.R.R. Tolkien’s biography one can assume that Sauron and the armies of Mordor were basically the Axis Powers of World War II, so once again the argument kind of becomes moot (But this always leads to the problem…who exactly were the elves? It is safe to assume that the kingdom of men was the United States, with the Kingdom of Rohan representing the pro-war surge after Pearl Harbor and the Kingdom of Gondor being the isolationists who ultimately changed their minds. I always joked in the old days on chat boards that the elves were the atom bomb, used sparingly and then pretty much put away forever. That caused almost as big of an uproar when I said the elves were vegan!) This is pretty typical of Cracked, for they have had many articles like “24 Reasons why the movie Man of Steel is The Passion of the Christ” and “Six Biggest Jerk Moves Ever Committed by Batman.”
Well, now that I have completely “nerded” up this blog, it is time to get back to what I was originally talking about. Lists, lists lists! I’ve utilize them quite often in my life, for being the type I am I have to figure out a way to stay on task sometimes. I guess I have ADHD or a wandering mind, because without some lists for me to do, I might never get anything done. I have to check my pockets for my wallet, phone and keys every time I leave, for there were many days where I would be driving the streets without a license and worrying my hair gray, especially during the days when I had no bumper on my car. I had to start making sure I had my keys in my pocket before I left my car, for I have locked myself out so many times that my parents started getting testy with me. Fortunately I carry a spare key with me now, and it did come in handy when I locked myself out of my car at a locations that was literally 25 miles from their house! Anyway, I came across a list that kind of aggravated me in regards to the snideness of the article indicating some exercises that initially aggravated me. But then again, I thought about it and much like many of the instant reversals I made early in the blog, I guess I kind of have to agree with a few of them. http://io9.com/popular-exercises-to-avoid-at-all-costs-unless-you-do-t-1702870104
Fortunately for me, I have a great trainer in Jon and can attest to some of this stuff, for the idea of performing many exercises is being able to do them properly. Much like a lot of things in my life, I tend to jump to conclusions and exaggerate while also jumping into something too fast. I look at it this way, for you should always take an adjustment into your routine in order to make marked improvements. One thing Jon recently pointed out was my desire to not fully warm up via the treadmill, bike or rowing machine. Since then, I have been showing up earlier to get some work done before and after the workout. Anyway, I run into a lot of these cautionary articles during my down time, seeking research on some new movements. Truth be told, my research led me more to Fail Army videos more than anything, because if you want to see the best way to not do anything in life (like jumping off a building, dead lifting in high heels and riding a boat in choppy water without your seatbelt), then this Youtube channel is certainly for you. Some of the things the article suggested were pretty obvious, especially the pull-up. Now I hate to admit this, but I still cannot even do one of these things. This sort of enrages me, because it kind of gets into my head that I am still just a lard ball even though I’m technically not. Heck, I cannot even do the darned “kipping” pull-up that Crossfit nuts love to do, even though the kipping pull-up really isn’t a pull-up at all. And even if you can do a hundred of these in a row, you could be setting yourself up for some shoulder damage down the line by doing this repeated action. Fortunately for me, Jon still lets me cheat by doing the “modified” version of the pull-up i.e. letting me do jump pull-ups, which actually tend to work my legs more than anything!
Now I’m gonna start puffing my chest and out and make a strange revelation that not even Jon can expect: I’m actually starting to like dead lifts. Even though I have repeatedly stated I kind of think they are boring, they are kind of a boss workout movement in the gym. The thing which enables such enjoyment is the fact so few people seem to know how to actually do them. Go to the internet and you will see hundreds of arched backs, gritted teeth, bright red faces and subsequent fainting action because no one really knows how to do this complicated workout. But I can say I have mastered it! (oh this is gonna get me in trouble, hehe). Yes, my personal best lift weight is barely under 400 pounds, but how many can really say they do it? Here I am busting hump at 275, doing six to eight reps, and I bet most guys don’t even attempt it. Like Dom Mazetti said in one of his hilarious Bioscience videos, “No one likes to do deadlifts. They will just say screw it and go to the dumbbell curls.” Of course, he did have another fun point that I kind of utilize myself. “135 pounds on the deadlift might as well be zero pounds. It’s like running a 5K. Anything below that doesn’t count!” I was laughing hard over that sentiment, because earlier this week Jon had me do 100 deadlifts at 135 pounds! Now in defense of my position, I did have to do 100 chest presses with 45-pound dumbbells before this exercise and ultimately followed it up with 100 overhead presses, 100 sit-ups and crunches, 40 jump pull-ups and 25 burps (all the things in this workout, I hated these there most). But here in another fun thing I noticed about this article since I mention it. Why does everyone hate sit-ups and crunches? http://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/2014/02/21/why-sit-ups-wont-get-you-a-flat-stomach
First of all, it does produce some problems by putting pressure on your lower back, setting you up for disk problems in the future. But the issue that so many run into in regards to sit-ups and crunches is the fact they think it will get them a flat belly. Now there is a dispute whether this is true or not, for US health and News says a resounding “No” and offers up some alternatives, while pretty much every other website out in the internet pretty much gives a passing grade to sit-ups, like Daily Burn. http://dailyburn.com/life/fitness/beginner-core-exercises-for-ab-workouts/ Now of course, this all depends on how you are doing these sit-ups, and judging by the Gifs in the article, I need to shore up my posture a little more and focus more on crunching my stomach as opposed to creating force to get my body up. Personally, I don’t mind sit-ups, but unlike old dogs, I can learn some new tricks that will aid me in the destruction of my stomach fat, which I am hoping to be mostly rid of by the end of the summer. As for the crunches, a good suggestion I heard was not necessarily do the crunches in full, but sit in a holding position while tightening your stomach. We shall see how this all goes down. But take heed my fellow readers and wannabe fitness trainers, we can always forgo this apparent He said-She said argument and simply do planks! Apparently trainers and doctors alike can actually agree on this.
Now, there is no question I need to keep changing and adjusting my workouts, because no matter how comfortable I get with the situation, something is always gonna throw a monkey wrench into the situation. For example. Jon always gets on my case about doing the alternating grip on my dead lifts, even though they help tremendously in weight. But hold on! There is a real reason why he yells “no bueno!” http://www.gustrength.com/training:hook-grip-versus-alternated-grip-for-deadlifts Turns out I can actually derail my fitness by not building proper strength in my hands, thus making me weaker in the process. Yes, I can lift more with the alternating grip, but the website offered the conundrum of “What happens when the alternating grip fails?” You would seriously lose some gains having to rebuild your grip all over again, so it is just best to use the front grip method to start with and maybe use the alternating when seeking a new personal best. But that is always the secret to fitness. Always make sure you do it the right way, not the way that looks more impressive to untrained eyes. So yeah, you did that back squat with 300 pounds. Awesome! You did it on the Smith press, which does half the work for you by stabilizing your stance. Nope doesn't count! You might as well be back squatting zero pounds!
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Steve, a Parsons Training Client, went from 400 pounds to Running half-marathons, from lifting pizzas to lifting hundreds of pounds through training with us.