By Steve Sharpton, Parsons Training Center, Tucson, Arizona
August 4, 2016
I wouldn’t say this is a blog about health, but something about observational mental health. This is a subject I kinda get angry with because it continues to bubble over. Maybe it is based in a little jealousy, who knows. I just want to point out that I am using my own experience and I’m not a sociologist or psychologist.
Anyway, it takes a lot for me to really get upset about something. Some of my closer friends might disagree with this sentiment, but trust me, ranting over the latest piece of crap comic book movie is just something to be expected of me. They should know this by now. I’m talking about things that actually need to be talked about in this country, things that actually matter. I could put down Pokemon Go for the silliness of it all and the fact it is kind of weird to see people playing it as much as they do, but who cares about complaining when there are a thousand other self absorbed people doing it for me (though a lot of the memes are pretty funny). I could get all upset and ornery about the absolute craziness people have been projecting all over the internet with the release of the new Harry Potter book, which ironically doesn’t look like it was built to destroy the remaining rain forests of the world (yes, that is a joke about the length of those books, hehe). But I will just stick to the vastly superior wizarding of Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings (that’s right, bring it on). I could also get pissed off by the images of all the idiot racist Trump nuts, including the senile Clint Eastwood, but what is the point. I could equally belittle the massive number of conspiracy theorists who think the world is flat, think Hillary Clinton is a reptilian overlord and our planet is intentionally being poisoned…but yeesh, that would take all day. There is so much hate, stupidity and racism bubbling up in the world right now that I have little time to get angry or upset. I cannot possibly spend my entire day being mad about something and let it wreck my day. I don’t wish to turn into one of these doom and gloom people who’s only mission in life is to preserve and massage their way of thinking, even though all the supposed credible sources they use are just ridiculous propaganda blogs. I just don’t have the time or the energy for that sort of thing anymore, because when I find myself lost amongst those people, I turn into one of those people. I start demanding attention and dishing out hatred in. I start begging for an argument. I’ll admit, it can be a pleasurable experience when you are stuck at home with nothing to do and no money in your pocket. When you are lonely due to your circumstance it can be intoxicating to control the mind and emotions of another person. I think this is why so many trolls run around on the internet. They confuse the attention for other emotions, and it sustains them as they go through their darkest phases it life. It will not matter to them when they’re candidate loses, because it will always be a rigged election or some conspiracy, and the “truth” they are speaking only sounds like nonsense to everyone due to the perceived notion that they are enlightened and in the know, not crazy. Loneliness can do this to you. I know this, because it was kind of my life as well.
Right now, I have these weird thoughts brewing in my head. I sometimes think my ex-employer is sabotaging my job seeking. Today, I will get to see if I can still pull unemployment “benefits” (if you really wanna call them that, they really barely help) due to the fact they are willing to spend more money than the whole of my unemployment benefit package just to say they beat me. Anyway, when I got the paperwork earlier this week, the conspiracies started swirling in my head. They were fucking me over. They were talking shit about me. THEY WERE SCREWING ME OVER AND DESTROYING MY FUTURE! Fortunately, I put my head back on and hung out with my friend for Mondo Monday at The Loft (bad Tucson movie month!). I calmed down even more in regards to the situation when I had my weekly coffee and bagels with my parents. If anything, being around people brings out the best in me. I have been sick for much of this week, for I had a sudden case of sinus pressure knocking me off my feet. I was dehydrated, my head felt like it had a spike in it and before I started treating myself, my jaw was so sore I didn’t even want to chew anything. I wasn’t contagious but I didn’t want too risk it, so I skipped out on working out and such and other appointments in order to keep others clean. Not to mention I helped me father with a little yard work at his house and then he helped me a little more at mine (granted, my yard is like trying to mow a small soccer field). Needless to say, I am relaxed coming into today, even though a rather nerve wracking court appointment is looming. But that is the new life for me. Anger, loneliness and random hate-fire being spewed upon strangers is not something I do anymore. It just wasn’t healthy for me. It wasn’t something that aided me in my quest for better health. I became so used to that mentality that I was never able to actually feel good about an accomplishment or something good. I had to do something that would make me feel better in the negative. It’s just not something I like to speak of. Heck, even my “rants” for this blog and the v-blog for my YouTube channel are not really rants, but just something I like to speak about because it is not a gaudy enough subject to pontificate on for a long period of time. Anyway, I think a lot of people let loneliness, dissatisfaction and “positive” sense of hate control them, almost to the point where resentment and disgust can be viewed as life sustaining in their world view.
So yeah, I keep an even keel most of the time, and much of it is because of a better diet and a consistent exercise regimen. I fell off both wagons this past week and you can see why I was getting a little nutty in the membrane. Even though there are a great many v-bloggers and written bloggers I could look at and criticize their stupidity and mock their poorly constructed views, what’s the point? They can simply retort… “Look at the subscriptions wannabe!” Naturally, this doesn’t mean I can’t get angry. The last time I really got pissed off about something was when a couple of people put out some horrible videos that were nothing but fat shaming. One was by Nicole Arbour, who its just a troll, and the other was some ex-army guy trying to sell his inspirational quote services or something. Both were pretty awful, but of course the army guy got the pass because one thing the internet truly loves to do is hate women (but we can save that for another blog). But the underlying detail that really bothered me from both of those trolls is that people agreed with them whole heartedly with their anonymous Youtube names. It’s the kind of discourse I hate to see be worshipped, for it is tempting to really get into that sort of speech due to the monetary backlash you can receive from your hate. And it is discouraging, because the nonsense these people spew will just make them more powerful as more and more people regard mean, hateful speech as cool and refreshing. Heck, this past week, I stumbled across another video from a little putz named Hunter Avallone who made a video about why the fat acceptance movement needs to go. Now, I have always stated the fat acceptance movement needs to grow up a little, alluding to the idea that it is okay to love your body but it is not okay to believe your obese body is healthy. Avallone actually brought up a couple points I relate to, but here is the thing. He is such a self righteous little troll, full of indignation and poor insight (typical for a 19-year-old who has never been fat or who has barely lived), that the actual agreeable portions he says will be drowned out by the bile he is spewing. But then again, why would he listen to me? I saw the video five days ago, and it is already his top viewed video EVER and he has gained 23,000 new subscribers! Now, his defenders are saying he does it out of irony or whatever, but can anyone really tell when you see the rest of his videos?
Anyway, I’m already getting worked up about this. I just wish sometimes, in some shape or manner, that the messenger be a good one. Right now, we are kind of in a unique window in our planet’s history, where being a troll or being a generally unlikeable person can make you extremely popular with just about anyone. It probably has a lot to do with that loneliness factor I talked about, that desperate need to belong to something. Trouble is, people will cling to it no matter what these days. It is rather disheartening to myself, for it makes me wonder why I don’t do the same thing. Well, first of all, Jon is the one that controls the blog and therefore, ticking him off with random stuff that would reflect poorly on his company would instantly mean a little conversation. But on the other hand, I would never want to go that route to begin with. It seems so distasteful to me. There have been many times over the last few weeks where I completely got riled up about something and was prepared to let myself go and become fully engaged for the day. But I just let it go. I didn’t say anything, not because I felt like I had self censored myself….I just didn’t want to become the one thing I despised. My old self. I didn’t want to be that obese guy sucking a Monster and eating leftover pizza (provided I had any that is) getting worked up because some guy didn’t believe the 1958 NFL Championship Game is the most important game in the league’s history (yeah, I may be a pro-New York Giants man, but it was the first televised game and the first game ever to go into overtime, cementing the future television juggernaut that is the current NFL…and seriously, this guy though the Cowboys-49ers game from 1981 was the most important? Give me a break! Okay, wait a second…) It was a good thing I didn’t have a modern-ish computer before I started on my fitness journey and began walking into the light. If I hadn’t, I might find myself liking these insufferable trolls who only seek attention for the wrong reasons, bringing about hate within arguments that need to be addressed sanely and without name calling. So yeah, when I see some little idiot online creating nothing more than hate inducing discourse that will widen the gap between the two warring factions….I get a bit upset.
One of the problems I guess is the nobility of the journalism profession has ben overrun by the clowns. I remember a special once on 60 Minutes where the serious news people were talking about the future with incendiary bloggers who only ran blogs to get views for the ads they posted on their website. I scoffed at the bravado of these people, who claimed their form of “journalism” was viable and was a suitable source the people needed to read. Who would have thought these people would now be actual cited sources some internet goers are suckered into posting on their Facebook pages. Anyway, I guess it is a good time to state that I will always seek to be true with myself, and never sell out for the sake of angering people and making myself a household name from a negative standpoint. If anything, I feel a lot of people need to stop listening to these people, from the highest of the high in regards to Bill O’Reilly and Wolf Blitzer to the Nicole Arbours and Hunter Avallones. I often times wish these people would shut the hell up, keep their hate and their negativity to themselves and actually seek a little professionalism in the manner they present their arguments. I guess I am a fuddy duddy in that sense, for I feel there is still time to change the tide and help people through constructive reasoning and arguments that don’t rely on belittlement and cuss words. But man, it is so hard to maintain those ideals these days.
So I pledge to you my friends, as much as I like to opine about various pop culture subjects, I will at least try to keep my messages in a cool and collected method. Sometimes I get a little nutty about my veganism, but hey…you got to try it. So yeah, support those that speak the truth in a manner that is not meant to be click bait and such. Maybe, just maybe, the messengers will get better.
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About Parsons Training
Parsons Training is a Tucson leader in fitness and personal wellness training. Every personal trainer with this company designs and implements effective fitness programs for their clients; these programs serve as the foundation for good health, fitness, and wellness. Additional information about Parsons Training is available at http://www.parsonspersonaltraining.com
Any views or opinions presented in this blog are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of the company.
About Our Blog
Steve, a Parsons Training Client, went from 400 pounds to Running half-marathons, from lifting pizzas to lifting hundreds of pounds through training with us.